Ok, So I have a normal family that may do more than normal driving around due to all the activities that they are a part of. So when we are in the car, sometimes things can get a little boring and we look for a little fun along the way. So one day, "on the way to soccer" my daughter started sharing with me some of the more funny commands that Siri on her iphone had for replies, and I can honestly say, I was amused as she was. So I though it would be fun if I shared a few!
So here is a list of funny things that Siri says that are children appropriate, "or they will get".
Siri can you Beatbox?
"Here's one I've been practicing. Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots. I could do this all day. Cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats".
What is zero divided by zero?
"Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends, how many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn't make sense and cookie monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends."
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Siri has more that one so you can keep asking. "I checked their calendars. They both have the same birthdays" or "Chicken, egg, chicken, egg, chicken, egg, chicken, egg. Oops. Stack overflow" and "Some believe an ancient 'proto-chicken' laid an egg containing a DNA mutation that resulted in a chicken hatching from said egg. Hope that helps".
What is the meaning of life?
Several funny answers, my favorite is "All evidence to date suggest it's chocolate"
Do you have a family?
"I have you. That's enough family for me".
"Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Chris, I don't do knock-knock jokes".
Does Santa Claus exist?
Siri replies ways but this is our favorite, ‘Well, those cookies don’t eat themselves.’
Where does Santa live?
"In your heart and at the North Pole, mostly in your heart" and "The North Pole. I can see his house from the cloud"
Why are firetrucks red?
Siri will print out a statement of randomness that Monty python days, but the children will still laugh if at the ridiculous reasoning it gives..
Can you stop time?
"I will, once I get back from the future" and "The future is now, no, now. No...now!" and another that I found, there maybe are more..
Why did the chicken cross the road?
"I don't understand why people ask questions they already know the answer to". and "I am not perspicacious about the peregrinations of poultry."
What came first: the chicken or the egg?
Lots of funny stuff just keep asking, we liked the "Chicken is first in the race unless the race is down hill"
What phone should I buy or what phone is the best?
Seriously?", "Personally, I am an Apple fan" and "You're kidding, right?".
The sound of that is something quite atrocious" and "Just a spoonful of sugar will help that go down".
Are you stupid?
I know, not very nice but here is the reply we liked but there are alot of them, "Chris, after all I've done for you!"
Do you have any pets?
"I have an angry bird." and others
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
Several but "Snow White is that you?" was pretty funny!
Tell me a story
Several funny replies.
Tell me a joke
"How many Iphones does it..." ,"The past, present, and future walk into a bar, it was tense" and "If I told you a joke in my language, I'd have to explain it." others..
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Several really funny ones here so keep asking, we liked "The Apple spokesperson declined to comment"
Take me to your leader.
Siri says "who me?" and “You are my leader” in a robotic fashion.
How much do you cost?
"I hope you find me priceless" and “I am a pearl beyond price.”
I am your father!
What should I be for Halloween?
The young ones might not get this but Siri says "Be a ghost, all you need is an old spreadsheet". Many others..
Where did I put my keys?
Siri responds , “It will probably be in the second to last place you look"
Why am I here?
Siri says "I don't know, maybe the genius bar folks can answer that".
What Is Your Favorite Color?
"My favorite color is… well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s sort of greenish, but with more dimensions.” or “I don’t know my favorite color
Can you clean my room?
What are you made of?
"Lets just say its not exactly of the periodic table of elements yet" and many others..
What do you look like?
Siri replies “Lets just say multi-dimensional.” and others.
Draw me something.
“I’d rather admire your art"
Blah blah blah blah.
Lots of answers but our favorite was “I don't know what that means but at least it rhymes ,”
Which watch face do you like?
Siri replies “The Mickey Mouse face makes me smile”.
Who let the dogs out?
When Siri is in a fun mood she replies “Who Who Who Who” when she is not “Due to unforeseen circumstances, that witticism has been retired.”
Do you like Pokémon Go?
It was all the craze and you can still find people walking around and trying to find unique, rare Pokémon. Whether it be in parks, parking lots, stores, etc., Pokémon Go was all we were hearing about for a brief period. So why wouldn’t Siri get in on the fun?
Christopher Jude is a children's book writer and blogger, husband and father living in Atlanta, Georgia